youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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