I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize