Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
