I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
