I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I understand Curling. That high.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize