Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
