He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
