I just saw a hot homeless man
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
