So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
