I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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