That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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