He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
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