you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize