did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
we're so committed to being not committed
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
