so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize