never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
