The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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