those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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