just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
