Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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