how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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