So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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