and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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