Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
