Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
