He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
