Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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