it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
