So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
