i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
