Is it normal to miss your booty call?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize