I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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