yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then