i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul