return my video game
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize