i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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