Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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