How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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