Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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