Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
