I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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