I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
