is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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