exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
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That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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