Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
They took my balls.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
