We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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