Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize