Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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