what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize