You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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