There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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