i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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