Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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