why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
