she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
