I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
