what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
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Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
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So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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