he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
